where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
