It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
