What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
