You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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