kristin has been a bad kristin
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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