I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
