i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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