it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
