i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
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