what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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