This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Randomize
