We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
we made out on top of his cat.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
