Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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