another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
He passed out mid-signature
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
