Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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