cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
honey bunches of taint.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
this is an emotional support booty call
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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