New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
