I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
accomplished twins. life is a go
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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