yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
