My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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