I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize