Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Randomize
