More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
