Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
