I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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