When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
