The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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