Nicole vs. Life
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
