no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
