Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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