Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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