Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
