you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
