The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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