What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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