I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
