covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
