We're facebook friends in real life
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Randomize
