and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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