Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
