TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
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