he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
