he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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