it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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