id be glad to
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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