Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
