Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
