how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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