and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
