If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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