her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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