You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize