i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
